Roger Gastman Gets Tattooed

I have some dumb tattoos. I LOVE dumb tattoos. I’m in Lafayette, Louisiana so decided why not get more? All I knew was it was either going to say Game Recognize Game or On With The Show. I saw a wizzzzzzzard and instantly recognized he had mad game. The guy tattooing me did not have a portfolio. He seemed cool and had been in the tattoo game for two years, so I just went with it. Half way through the wizzzzzard I saw the ICP on his forearm. I was so excited. Like when I see cake. We talked about ICP. He mad dedicated to them. Word. After we finished I asked if he had any more ICP ink. BAM he did not disappoint. Thanks Josh. This Faygo is for you.

Roger Gastman

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Roger Gastman Goes To The Movies: Project X

I was so excited when I saw previews for Project X. I put the release date on my calendar and everything. Planned to see it on the first screening. I’m lazy I suck and I didn’t. Several of my friends called and emailed and texted and told me to stop everything I was doing and go see it that second. I finally went by myself cuz I’m a loser.

I am still shaking from it. It’s like someone went into my brain and took a zillion of my life experiences, and dumb things we dreamed happening (midget in an oven). I didn’t laugh once during the movie. My eyes didn’t blink. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight. Like I think that movie was real. I’m confused. Now I know how war vets feel when they see war movies and have a flash back.

Also, the movie takes place in Pasadena. I was there today at my DR. for my yearly check up. Once again he didn’t believe me that I don’t do drugs or smoke or drink. Motherfucker. But he was psyched on me cuz I lost close to 20lbs since I was there last. Don’t worry people, I am still a fat fuck.

You know where I am going to be Wednesday, Thursday and every night the rest of this week? That’s right, by myself at the movies watching Project X over and over again. The only downside is that I didn’t eat my peanut M&Ms or drink my Barqs Root Beer – I was too taken in by the film. True cinema. Big Shout out to my dawg Eugene Levy & Stiffler’s mom in the American Pie Reunion film preview I saw before Project X.

Roger Gastman

Roger Gastman Goes Pineapples

Have you ever lived Thursday twice? I have. I was in Japan then I flew to Hawaii. I left Japan at midnight Thursday – and landed in Honolulu at noon on Thursday. Damn. We felt like shit. But we had a crazy few days in front of us. We knew what we had to do in our few free hours – hit the Dole Pineapple Plantation. See where those tasty yellow things come from. So that’s what we did. We hated it so much but found it so awesome that we went back again the second day in-between jobs. Both days we had the Dole Whip. That is basically pineapple flavored soft serve. I also got it a third day in a row at the mall food court. But that’s a story for another post.

Did you know it takes 3 years to grow 2 pineapples on one plant – then the plant dead? Well it does.
Another fact – I tried to clean out the gift shop.


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Roger Gastman Watches iCarly

Those of you that have had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing me might think sometimes I am a bit creepy. What ever – get over it, I’m just keeping it real.  Not much has changed since I was 16. Same damn soundtrack also. The point of this… I am flipping the channel, end up on Law & Order SVU – see a 9 year old girl as the rape victim. Man, I recognize her! It’s Sam from iCarly! Jennette McCurdy. Yes, I watch iCarly – it is an amazing show. The new episode this past Saturday has a warm bag of dog poop in the first scene, then they go to Canada and check out the Hostess type factory called Fat Cakes. Moral of the story is watch iCarly. And Jennette is actually pretty funny, I follow her on Twitter. And it ain’t even creepy.

Roger Gastman

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Roger Gastman’s Gift Guide 2011

I am going to give you my opinion and my opinion says that holidays are not that cool unless it’s Halloween over and over again. But Dave who runs this site thinks you dear readers want some new fresh gift ideas. So in no order at all I give you a bunch of crap to waste your money on for your ungrateful friends – BOOO!


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Non-American Graffiti

Roger Gastman narrates a feature about rebel art for Foreign Policy

Roger Gastman Goes To The Movies

I saw the movie Drive. Yeah, some violent, good close-up of killing some fools. But it’s the slowest movie. It’s like I was watching an old time silent movie where they don’t talk. But it ain’t silent. Some dude name Cliff something wrote the music for it. I really enjoyed the opening credits – they looked cool. Gave me lots of hope for the film. Chicks love the film cuz of the Ryan guy. Put me in that role and nobody wants to watch it. Let’s talk about something else. I finally got with the times and watched and payed attention to the Katy Perry Friday video. I’m a fan! Kenny G – Hansen – Debbie Gibson – Cory Feldman! It’s a winner. Speaking of Cory F, I just watched Lost Boys 3. Screw Drive, check out Lost Boys 3 on Netflix or grab it at Blockbuster.
Highlight of the film Drive:  chick gets her entire head blown off with I think a shotgun.


Hollywood Rog

Behind-the-scenes with Roger Gastman on the set of the new Best Coast video directed by Drew Barrymore.

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Way To Match the Cookies With Your Clothing

Roger Gastman gets interviewed in the Wall Street Journal

Roger Gastman Reviews Burger King’s new Blueberry Mini Biscuits

I heard a rumor about Burger King’s new Blueberry Mini Biscuits. I hate the word mini, and well I hate most all mini things, but I love biscuits, I love blueberry pancakes and blueberry bagels so you know I had to go there and try them.

Not since Wendy’s decided to get “new” fries (old ones still BETTER) have I been this excited to see the possibilities of joy in my stomach. Today was the day.

The verdict – they were not bad! They were actually quite good. Like they might have even baked them in house and not just microwaved them up. I could have eaten about 30 of them to fill me up. So moral of the review – if you mad hungry order like 12 orders of them.


PS – I didn’t try the icing.

“Average at Best”

Clear, 2010, Slovakia

Very Different Animals

Roger Gastman gets a nice profile in T Magazine