Epicly Later’d: Guy Mariano


As a nod to the Enablist, we’re going to continue the friday skateboarding theme. Airing this week, Patrick O’Dell caps off his season 2 series on Lakai’s Fully Flared vid with a spot on the comeback kid: Guy Mariano. 2 Episodes already posted here, more to come soon if VBS and O’Dell can stop skinny dipping together and giving each other hand jobs long enough to worry about Gene P’s feelings.

Gene P’s Best of Belgium


Another music-based Best of Belgium, this one focused not on an aging Belga-Franco rock demi-god, but instead on an up-and-coming duo called Madensuyu.  I saw these waffle-eating spankers opening up for Wolf Parade a couple of months ago.  As I was wondering to myself how much better the sound is at a venue that has Duvel on tap, Madensuyu dropped the hammer and had me rockin’ like a hurricane on home-cooked Belgian meth.  Here they are on one of Belgium’s music tv shows called LUX.  Word of warning, start the video at 1:10 unless you understand Dutch.

Gene P’s Best of Belgium


Greetings ladies and germs, Gene P back to slap a little more of Belgium’s best on the barbie for ya. Today’s offering is French pop idol Johnny Hallyday.  While some of you purists may argue correctly that Johnny is French, his father was Belgian, an affliction which we all know takes at least three generations to rid the blood line of.  And while Johnny is French by nationality, he is Belgian by hair style, his desperate desire to be American, and overall epic raditude.  In fact Johnny Hallyday signifies to me everything wonderful about being American; that despite all the hate for us in the world today, after 30 years he can still pack massive european soccer stadiums just by covering Neil Diamond songs.  Johnny, you are Belgium and we salute you today as one of it’s best.

Gene P: Best of Belgium

Gene P here to sock another round of Best of Belgium to ya cheeters and pumpkin eaters. This one actually took place in French Flanders, which is not technically part of the nasty B, but it’s close enough to hock a loogie on the King of Belgium, if you are so inclined (much respect to Albert II). From now until March 1st the Maison Folie in Lille is hosting the ProPeace Street Art exhibit in all its Fleming glory. Showcasing the likes of Féfé, Jonone and local talent Jef Aérosol among others, the Flemings put on quite a show.  Thanks for the photos Elsa!

Gene P’s Best of Belgium


Newly crowned TWBE “Postmaster of the Month” Eugene EggPlant Parmesan here to show ya there’s more to Belgium than constant rain and rampant pedophilia.  As a first installment I present to you the multi-talented Elkie Vanstiphout.  Hailing from Gent, Photographer/Musician/Designer Elkie takes the european attitude towards nudity seriously and we here at TWBE couldn’t agree more.  Fried egg sandwich anyone?

Gene P wants to know: Who among you will save Macgyver!

Gene P code red alert, the “List of problems solved by MacGyver” wikipedia page is up for review and, dare I say it, possible deletion.  The time is now, prove your eternal devotion to me by petitioning Wikipedia, that farce of an encyclopedia, to keep one of its few, actually informative pages alive and well.

Britain Still Sucks

Gene P here, back from the dead to let you know, just in case you forgot, Britain still sucks my slimy ass.  I was in London a couple of weeks ago seeing TWBE first mate Chazz Constantine’s display at London design week and while sucking down beer that was flatter than the cottage cheese arsed girls flapping at the bar, I happened upon a catalogue which could only be created in the land of bangers and mash.  Who but a fat roast beef-faced brit needs a place where one could order incontinence pants, an invisible urinal, adult bib, the world’s lightest shoe AND a 65 piece 3D model all in one place?!  Being still in the old world I don’t know the new image viewer, so you’ll have to follow me after the jumperama-slamajama to see the rest of the ads…..

[Read more]

90210:Where are you now?

Hey there you bedwetting backstabbers, it’s Gene P reporting to you after an epic 2 hours of 90210 where the plot lines were more abundant than shaved heads and combat boots at a Barnard party.  And with a larger-than-life cast consisting of Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development and Uncle Jesse’s wife from Full House, I found myself asking where most of the cast from the original show is now?  Well if you’re not Brenda Walsh, Kelly Taylor or Max from The Peach Pit, you’re frantically calling your agent to score a cameo back at West Beverly High, cause this shit left me California screamin!

[Read more]

Happy Birthday Gene P!

Gene P’s birthday was today, however he is in France. To honor such doing, I give you an epic photo of The Enablist and Gene P himself in Paris in 2003. Happy Birthday Frenchie!

How to assemble an Hermès mannequin

Jingle jangle my methed-out middle westerners, it’s your Tambourine Man here, Gene Parmesan, coming at you with some fresh shit hot off the streets of Lille, France. While scavenging for change to buy a Fanta, I stumbled upon this beauty; it’s an Hermès mannequin assembly guide and indeed, quite a thorough instruction set to boot (there are like 5 steps).  This insightful read answers all the hairy questions you wanted, but were too scared to ask.  Consider: if you were building a person, what would go first?  The head?  No, that goes on the top above the neck and there’s no head anyway.  How bout the feet!  Next….. hmmmmm, the torso perhaps?  Gene P’s fav chapter is about the always tricky ‘right hand placement’: (spoiler alert) It goes down my pants.  Imagine, if only Andrew McCarthy had a manual like this in the movie Mannequin……

[Read more]

One word: Kwaktastic!

Your favorite Parmegiano here, it’s Mean Gene with a series of new posts where I’ll be introducing the exotic, rarely seen aspects of European culture to you yankee doodle dandies.  Today I’m dropping some seriously awesome new cereal on you folks over there on the wrong side of the earth.  I’m not sure what’s more enticing about this box; the 3 main ingredients listed on the back: sugar, oil and chocolate flakes, or the Duck doing an air-split over the cereal bowl.  This shit looks like it was part of the original Howard the Duck promotion package and I’ve only seen it in Belgium, as if that’s the only country that has Howard the Duck fans?  Either way, we know what Mr. Gene P will be eating every morning for the next couple of weeks…..  

What’s a “haole” anyway?!

Gene P here, and to celebrate Kelly Slater’s 4th win on the WCT and all but wrapping up his 9th World Title, I’m happy to report to you, my gentle readers, after years of searching I have finally unearthed the secret to his success.   It’s all due to a lost mystic surf film, which he stumbled upon ages ago while searching for neon pink boogie board leashes at his local surf shop in Florida.  Did I astonish you? Well don’t fear dear reader, but yes, it’s true, Kelly Slater was originally a sponger. And it was this movie, mysteriously titled simply North Shore, that inspired him to give up the prone position. In this at times cryptic film to a bygone era, he learned all he has ever known about surfing.  It answers the big questions of the sport, such as:  How to duck dive?  What’s a “Barney”?  Just how aggro are the Brazilians?  And, can you tell someone is lame by the way they wear their shorts?  These and more are all answered within, proceed with caution my sweet baby-teethed blondies, these truths just may set you free……