Gene P code red alert, the “List of problems solved by MacGyver” wikipedia page is up for review and, dare I say it, possible deletion.  The time is now, prove your eternal devotion to me by petitioning Wikipedia, that farce of an encyclopedia, to keep one of its few, actually informative pages alive and well.

Gene P here, back from the dead to let you know, just in case you forgot, Britain still sucks my slimy ass.  I was in London a couple of weeks ago seeing TWBE first mate Chazz Constantine’s display at London design week and while sucking down beer that was flatter than the cottage cheese arsed girls flapping at the bar, I happened upon a catalogue which could only be created in the land of bangers and mash.  Who but a fat roast beef-faced brit needs a place where one could order incontinence pants, an invisible urinal, adult bib, the world’s lightest shoe AND a 65 piece 3D model all in one place?!  Being still in the old world I don’t know the new image viewer, so you’ll have to follow me after the jumperama-slamajama to see the rest of the ads…..

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Hey there you bedwetting backstabbers, it’s Gene P reporting to you after an epic 2 hours of 90210 where the plot lines were more abundant than shaved heads and combat boots at a Barnard party.  And with a larger-than-life cast consisting of Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development and Uncle Jesse’s wife from Full House, I found myself asking where most of the cast from the original show is now?  Well if you’re not Brenda Walsh, Kelly Taylor or Max from The Peach Pit, you’re frantically calling your agent to score a cameo back at West Beverly High, cause this shit left me California screamin!

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Gene P’s birthday was today, however he is in France. To honor such doing, I give you an epic photo of The Enablist and Gene P himself in Paris in 2003. Happy Birthday Frenchie!

Jingle jangle my methed-out middle westerners, it’s your Tambourine Man here, Gene Parmesan, coming at you with some fresh shit hot off the streets of Lille, France. While scavenging for change to buy a Fanta, I stumbled upon this beauty; it’s an Hermès mannequin assembly guide and indeed, quite a thorough instruction set to boot (there are like 5 steps).  This insightful read answers all the hairy questions you wanted, but were too scared to ask.  Consider: if you were building a person, what would go first?  The head?  No, that goes on the top above the neck and there’s no head anyway.  How bout the feet!  Next….. hmmmmm, the torso perhaps?  Gene P’s fav chapter is about the always tricky ‘right hand placement’: (spoiler alert) It goes down my pants.  Imagine, if only Andrew McCarthy had a manual like this in the movie Mannequin……

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