Talk at me with Anita & Neil


In this feature, two of our favorite people, Neil Anblomi and Anita Goodman, ask each other important questions.

This week, Neil asks Anita:

Neil:There is this chick who works at a local cafe by my office. One day whilst talking to her she told me that guys with tattoos are her biggest turn on.  I have kept my body  ink free, just in case I want to get buried in a Jewish cemetery (you never know) but now I’m considering getting one to pique her interest.  I’m thinking some type of tribal arm band, or maybe a Japanese character on my fore arm.  I’m so excited just writing about it!  Any advice?

Anita: Before I answer your question, I have to touch on a few things. First of all I’m becoming concerned about your “local café” obsession, this is the second time you’ve brought that shit up in 2 weeks. Are you drinking too much coffee? That shit’s gonna kill you, you know that, right? And dude, more importantly: are you Charlie from fucking It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia? Crushing on the chick who serves you your daily coffee is the most tired 90’s sitcom cliché. Oh, great! The fucking theme song for Friends is blaring in my brain right now, thank you very much, asshole (clap-clap -clap -clap).

Anyway. back to the question. If you kept up with the news, you would know that the whole Jewish cemetery/tattoo thing is bogus, the New York Times told us so a couple years ago. So unless you get a back piece of Hitler’s face or something that says “Jesus is my savior” – I’m pretty sure they’ll let you in, no questions asked. As for your design of choice, how about an arm band that consists of Japanese characters? Peanut butter is good and so is jelly, but when they are together, they’re fucking AWESOME. Why just do one or the other? Combine two good things to make one totally fucking stellar thing! Remember to be choosy about what the characters spell out, you definitely want the lady to know you’re someone she wants to be with. How do you spell “I eat pussy” in Japanese?

NY Times article:

No Comments, Comment or Ping

Reply to “Talk at me with Anita & Neil”